I cannot stop my mother in law feeding my dogs, as we work together and the dogs come to work with me every day. She feeds them sandwiches under her desk. I have asked her to stop but she takes no notice.

One of my dogs has allergies and I like to keep my eye on what he eats. She still will not listen if I tell her to stop. She will say he is not allergic to food and the vet is talking crap. Sometimes, our dogs stay with her and when we get them back, they act like they don’t want to be with us. In fact, Charlie our male dog, growls at me if I pick him up or stroke him.

I have had arguments with her regarding these problems, but she thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about. She treats them like human babies. I think she likes it that the dogs don’t like me. Can you help me please? Any advice is welcome.

Wit’s End

United Kingdom

Dear Reader,

There are several things going on here. One is that your mother-in-law doesn’t respect you. She overrules you on matters that you alone have authority over. I would have a talk with her and ask her why she does it. She may brush you off at first and deny there’s a problem, but persist. Without anger, ask her why she ignores your decisions about your dogs’ diet, as well as the advice of your veterinarian. Depending on how badly her treats impact your dogs’ allergies, think about not bringing them to work with you. If not bringing them to work is not an option for you, provide some treats that your dogs can enjoy and ask your mother-in-law to feed them those treats. Or confine the dogs to an area where they cannot get to your mother-in-law’s desk for sandwiches. I knew one person who tied a long leash around his waist at the office, and clipped the other end to his dog’s collar. The dog had to go everywhere with him. After a few weeks, he took off the leash and the dog stayed by his side, never left his office, and didn’t wander around anymore. It might work. It might also make a point.

As far as the dogs acting like they’re not happy to see you, don’t take it personally. Dogs don’t live in the future or the past the way humans do. You should, however, seek the help of a
trainer to deal with the dominance displayed by Charlie when you try to pick him up or stroke him. It could be that he dominates your mother-in-law while you’re away and he needs a reminder when you return. But dogs can grasp the concept of different relationships with different people, so some training might help. If your mother-in-law enjoys the fact that your dogs are not overjoyed to see you, that’s spiteful. You should address that with her, also.

You may not get anywhere by talking to her, but you may make a point on another level. Imagine that you’re your mother-in-law. You engage in these little passive-aggressive behaviors to get a rise out of your daughter-in-law. You’re creating a problem for her. But what would happen if, every time you do, she comes to you and you have to have this big talk about it. The fact that she’s passive-aggressive tells me she wants to avoid confrontation. If she has an uncomfortable conversation with you every time she does something like that, now it’s her problem, not yours. I’ve done this and it really works. Don’t be angry or dramatic. Just be serious and thorough. Look her in the eye. Ask her to answer your questions instead of brushing them off. Don’t let her get out of it quickly or easily. Tell her you really want to understand her point of view. She’ll tire of that quickly and stop triggering it. Give it a try.

By the way, where is your husband in all this? If he won’t stand up to mommy now, he never will. Ask him to talk with her, too.

- L 

Blogs.com recently named our blog on its list of Top 10 Popular Dog Blogs (#3) and WordPress recently named is in its 100 fastest-growing blogs. Woo-hoo!

L

August 26 is National Dog Day. Started by self-styled “pet lifestyle expert”/interior designer Colleen Paige, National Dog Day is intended to raise awareness of all the ways in which dogs enrich our lives, and to get people to donate to shelters. The organizers’ website encourages people to host a variety of events to celebrate, including dog costume parties, adoption fairs, or buy things from their sponsors such as photo sessions, boutique items and treats. Hmmmmm … They also created National Puppy Day, National Mutt Day and National Pet Day. Sounds like a marketing machine over there. Oh, well. We’ll do our part. FunStuffForDogs.com offers a coupon code worth 20% off any purchase of $25 or more. Enter coupon code NATIONALDOGDAY during checkout.

I feel better already.

Here are some tips that will make housetraining faster and easier. It works on puppies or dogs. Even an adult dog can be put on this program and successfully be housebroken.

• You can train a dog to us a specific area of the yard by keeping your pup on a leash every time you go out, and go directly to the designated part of the yard. Later, he’ll only use that part of the yard. This lets you enjoy your yard without worry about stepping on something.
• Take the puppy outside after he eats, sleeps, plays/exercises, or comes out of the crate.
• Praise him verbally and with a pat when he does his business. Then go immediately inside. This will show him the purpose of going outside. I would not recommend leaving the dog out in the yard all day, because it confuses housetraining.
• For the first two to three days — while you’re home with him — put the puppy in his crate with something to chew so that he associates the crate with good things. Let him stay in the crate for an hour, then take him out and immediately go outside. Do this twice or three times per day.
• When you have to go back to work, make sure the puppy is empty (you may have to go for a walk to assure that he empties out), then put him in his crate with something to do (chew bone, etc.).
  A puppy can be expected to “hold it” for the number of hours that matches his age in months. So a four-month-old puppy can only be expected to hold it for four hours. This is true up to about 10 hours. That’s as long as any dog should be expected to hold it.
• Dogs sometimes pick up from us that there’s something wrong with being left alone because of the way we act when we leave and when we return. Do not say “goodbye” to him or change your voice or make a fuss when you leave the house. Just leave. When you come home, again, don’t do the high-pitched, excited voice or the overdone affection (until after you both come back inside). When you walk in the door, calmly take the puppy outside before you do anything else. Your whole attitude should be, “See? There’s nothing to it.”
• Many people think that a dog is housebroken when he comes to you to ask to be let out, or scratches at the door. Don’t put the burden on your dog. Take him out on a regular schedule and he’ll know that there will be an opportunity to go soon. This will help him to hold it until the next potty break. Take him out first thing in the morning, after every meal, right before bed, and anytime you come home, no matter how long or short a time you’ve been gone. He needs to know that when you walk through that door, he’s going out.
• If a dog is having diarrhea, additional breaks might be needed. If you see your pup hanging around the door, let him out.
• If you take him out on a schedule, you’ll learn when he pees and when he poops. If you’re taking your morning break and he hasn’t pooped like he ususally does, you know that he’ll need to go while you’re at work. In this case, maybe a walk would give the results you need. Paying attention to what’s normal will help prevent a situation where he’s locked in his crate and half an hour later, he needs to go.
• If you let the dog sleep in your bed, be aware that when he wakes up and moves around during the night, he may need to go out. If you have him in a crate, you may have to set the alarm and take him out. If he cries at night, cover the crate with a blanket.
• If he soils the crate, don’t punish. Just take him out, then clean it up and continue with the routine. Being confined in a stinky crate is enough of a lesson for him.
• After a while (at age 9-12 months), you may not need the crate as much, and you can start letting him have the run of the house while you’re gone. If he makes a mess, go back to the crate for 3 months before trying again. By age 1 (or before), he should be trustworthy in the house while you’re gone. But keep the crate for him so he can go to his private place whenever he wishes.

If you have a doggie door, the procedure is the same, until he learns to go out by himself. But you should still be there early on to praise him and to train him to go in a certain part of the yard.
 
I’ve heard trainers suggest giving a cookie when the dog pees or poops. I don’t like this idea because then the dog becomes focused on the treat. Praise the dog and immediately go back inside. This will show the dog why you’re out there. This applies to yard training, of course. If you live in an apartment, you’ll just walk your dog on a schedule that he can count on.

10 Reasons to Adopt an Adult Dog

When it comes time to get a dog, many people consider adoption over purchasing. If you’re one of them, why not look at adult dogs? Puppies are a lot of work, and adult dogs bond just as well as puppies. Besides, there are quite a few advantages to getting an adult dog.

1. An adult dog has an adult bladder. Puppies can only be expected to “hold it” for as many hours as they are old, plus one. Therefore, a four-month-old puppy can only be expected to hold it for five hours. You probably plan to be home for the first weekend — even a long weekend — when you bring your dog home. But what about after that? Have you made arrangements to walk the dog or let her out every three, four, five, six or seven hours over the next six months? Is there someone home during the day with your dog. If not, consider an adult dog. They can be housetrained even if they’ve never been housetrained before. And best of all, the can hold it until you come home.
2. An adult dog is past the puppy chewing stage. This stage, from two months to two years of age, is when much of the home destruction happens. Chewed cabinets, sofas, shoes, window sills, and clothing can cost you plenty. But an adult dog, given chew toys and bones to keep him occupied, is no longer in a chewing frenzy.
3. An adult dog is as big as he’s ever going to get. With puppies — especially puppies whose heritage is unknown — you never know. My cousin got a “Beagle mix” who is now nearly 50 pounds. Many apartments have weight restrictions on the dogs they will allow, so if you rent, you may need to get a smaller dog. In addition, food, vet care and boarding are all more expensive for bigger dogs. If you’re sure you can’t end up with a bigger dog, get an adult.
4. Adult dogs are better able to focus, and this comes in handy during training. Although puppies can and should be trained, ask any trainer and she’ll tell you it’s often easier to train dog who’s mature. And don’t give in to fears that an adult won’t bond to you, or that you can’t teach an old(er) dog new tricks. Both are false. Every day is a whole new day for dogs, and the bonding that takes place during training (or retraining) is every bit as rewarding as that with a puppy. Plus, you don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to take him out!
5. What you see is what you get. Some dogs are very active as puppies, then mellow out considerably as adults; others are very cuddly and passive as puppies, then develop the energy of a squirrel on crack cocaine as they grow. An adult dog’s baseline personality is pretty well set, and shelters are full of dogs who became the “wrong” match as they grew up.
6. If you’re a fan of a particular breed, getting an adult purebred might be easier than you think. Breed rescues take in dogs from shelters and breeders … dogs who may have lived in comfortable, loving homes prior to coming to yours. Don’t assume that all rescue dogs are street urchins with no training who will not withstand being on a leash or being brushed. Then there’s the added bonus of getting a dog who’s very ”typey” and a good representative of the breed you like. Remember my cousin who wanted a beagle? Her dog (whom she adores, by the way) looks more like a smaller Irish Wolfhound. I loved collies all my life, and got a puppy from a breeder. His mom and dad were both gorgeous examples of the breed. He was a ball of fur with good coloring as a puppy, but as he grew, he began to show some conformation faults. His ears didn’t stand up. They drooped all his life. His back legs pointed outward, like ballerina feet. He grew and grew … to 90 pounds. He looked very gangly because of a very long back and high hips. His coat was so thick that our groomer, who had show collies, said he had three coats. Most people didn’t recognize him as a collie. Several people asked if he was a collie mix. Don’t get me wrong; I loved him dearly until the day he died. But as collies go, there are others who are better representatives of the breed. If you want a Papillon or a Pug that looks like a Papillon or Pug, consider an adult dog.
7. The first year is a lot less expensive with a grown-up dog. All those trips to the vet to give your new puppy round after round of innoculations can really add up. A healthy adult should only need to go to the vet once a year.
8. Most adult dogs are already socialized. Puppies must make mistakes and be corrected by dogs and humans to learn how to interact with others. Most adult dogs have already had run-ins with other dogs, so they know how far they can go. They want to keep the peace, and this is what socialization is about. The first time my young Lab got a correction from a Husky at the dog park, I could see her working it out in hear head. In hear world, everyone loved her, and everything was hers. But suddenly, she was put down hard by another dog. It was a necessary learning experience. An adult has been around the block and will be more aware in social interactions with kids, dogs, and you.
9. Instant companionship is yours when you get an adult dog. Puppies have to wait until they get their last round of shots before they should be around other dogs. They can’t run very far, and are easily knocked around by kids and other dogs. They’re uncordinated, untrained, and must eliminate, eat and sleep often. An adult dog can go running with you today!
10. If you’re adopting a dog to save a life, consider this. Most people get swept away by the cute factor of puppies. They come to shelters looking for puppies, therefore most puppies in shelters have a much better chance of being adopted than most adult dogs. When you adopt a dog, you’re saving a life. Why not save a life that’s running out of time, with fewer chances at being adopted? Many people say, “the dog knows.” Owners of adult adopted dogs often say that these dogs are grateful and happy dogs. One thing’s for sure; you’ll never regret it.

There’s a fun website that’s been around for a while. It’s for a British comedy called Gone to the Dogs. But the best part of the site is the game that tells you what kind of dog you would be. Go to http://www.gone2thedogs.com/ and click “GAME” on the left side of the screen. After you answer each question, don’t forget to click the “Next Question” button on the right.

Somebody has put an awful lot of work into this quiz, both from the programming and design aspects. It’s great fun to play.

I’m a Hamilton Hound, a Swedish hunting dog that look similar to the American Foxhound. Who knew?

Lisa

I was puzzled as to why Ingrid Newkirk, founder and president of PETA, would write a book about dog parties. After all, it’s well known that PETA’s president opposes pet ownership. As she told Newsday (Long Island’s newspaper), “In the end, I think it would be lovely if we stopped this whole notion of pets altogether.”

So why write a book about dog parties? If it’s better for dogs to live without human intervention, why in the world would she promote parties? All you have to do to answer this question is to glance at a few pages. Ingrid Newkirk, who has described herself as a “publicity slut,” wrote a book designed to appeal to dog consumers, the type who dress our dogs in clothes, take them on vacations, and throw parties for them, in order to push her anti-pet agenda … on us of all people. I believe it’s her desire to chastise this type of fully involved ‘pet parent’ into shame by means of this book. The cute cover photo of a dog with some balloons and confetti, the pink and green design, and the celebrity endorsements have probably enticed a few dog owners to buy the book. But then you begin to read it, and you come across the activist language that reveals Newkirk’s real agenda.

The entire first chapter is about how to praise your dog verbally. I’m not sure what this has to do with a book on dog parties, but it’s rife with insults and harsh judgments against people who carry their dogs in carriers, English speakers who don’t speak another language, and people who try to mimic Newkirk’s English accent. At the end of the chapter is a list of words you can say to your dog to tell the dog you love him/her. It occurs to me that if Newkirk really understood the people she’s writing for, she would know this entire chapter is superfluous.

More evidence of this struck me as I read Newkirk’s account of how a fellow PETA staffer’s dog enjoyed rolling around in anything dead. (She’s a dog, Ingrid. They all do.) Newkirk advises that we give the dog what he or she wants (Newkirk claims that she herself goes to the beach and collects smelly things like “decomposing crab limbs and fish spines” and mails them to the dog’s owner, so she can let the dog roll around in them. Her point is to find out what your dog REALLY wants to do when deciding what sort of party to throw. As Newkirk puts it, “Is there some unfulfilled talent, wish or pleasure that it is your duty, as the controller of your dog’s almost criminally restricted life, to ferret out of her?” Among the things she suggests that your dog might like is “winking.” I’m not kidding. It’s on page 28.

Sprinkled throughout this book are shocking stories of animal abuse, which really put me in the mood for a party. Also curious was her advice to warn any human guests who suffer from migraines that a dog party is not “a peaceful and sedate affair that one might expect in a library,” (does anyone expect it to be?) and encouraging hosts to tell human guests to wear overalls (because jumping and slobbering are encouraged). She spends several pages raving about a couple of famous mechanics who do a radio show, because, among other things, they advise listeners to go buy another car if their dog exhibits fear of riding in the current one. The author proves, page after page, that she has no idea what people who throw dog parties are like, or what their relationships with their dogs is like.

There’s lots of circling away from the topic of the book – which is parties – with such diversions as recommended hotels, hiking tips, movies that dogs might like, what religion a dog might be, why the symbol for the heart doesn’t look like a human heart, what Christopher Columbus thought of Chihuahuas, and a 30-question quiz to find out if you’re the type of pet owner you “ought” to be. The list, predictably, reads like it’s speaking to an animal activist, not a real pet owner. It includes such statements as, I never leave my dog overnight at the veterinarian, I will not make noise when my dog is trying to sleep, I will never make my dog get off the furniture, and I have provided for my dogs in my will. Predictably, there is a plea to make a donation to PETA.

Newkirk’s obvious contempt for dog owers – even as she tries to write a book for them – is evident in such passages as these:

• When talking to your dog, “sit on the floor so your dog doesn’t have to look up at you for once and suffer compressed dics in her neck.”
• “Remember that nasty animal experimentor Pavlov?”
• “Party hats should not be worn by adult humans or dogs of any age.”
• “Be clear that at this party … there will be no reprimands, harsh words or other improprieties.” Evidently, if a dog fight breaks out, Newkirk would choose let the dogs kill each other naturally, rather than employing any of that icky human intervention.

She gives practical ideas for invitations, such as making dog bone invitations (she then provides instructions for buying construction paper and cutting it into bone shapes … does anyone really need instructions for this?).

In the Guest List section, Newkirk states that ”a hound would be happiest if the rest of the world spontaneously combusted, leaving just the two of you alone together.” Okay, a) why is this statement in a book about parties, and b) wouldn’t you think Newkirk would refrain from using language that reminds anyone of her staffer, Bruce Friedrich’s famous quote, “I think it would be a great thing if, you know, all these fast food outlets and slaughterhouses and laboratories and the banks that fund them exploded tomorrow”?

The rest of the book is about the same: random ramblings about stupid dog owners, stupid humans in general, the horrible treatment of animals (by people and organizations other than PETA, of course), and tales the good deeds of PETA, an organization that financies terrorism and openly opposes animal ownership of any kind. At one point, she recommends gifts for dogs, including one – permancy – in which she chides us, “It is the look in the eyes of every dog and cat who has been dumped at a shelter, while they watch their person walk out the door. And not compe back. Ever.” This from an organization which euthanizes more than 90% of the pets it takes in.

The bottom line is that like everything PETA touches, this book is filled with concepts of a loving pet/owner relationship that Newkirk herself does not believe in, and is designed to lecture, shame, self-aggrandize and most of all, separate you from your money. My advice? Take a long walk with your dog and keep your $12.95.

If your dog is getting antsy, anxious or destructive, there’s one thing that can help more than any toy, training device, music CD or drugs: go for a walk. A 30-minute walk every day cures most dogs of most vices within a few weeks. Dogs are meant to roam. A house or a yard are confining to them. Letting a dog out in the yard does nothing to cure his “cabin fever.” You know how you feel when you’ve been in the house with the flu for three days? You need to get out. You need fresh air, sunshine, a change of scene, somewhere to go. So does your dog. So if you see him/her becoming restless, barking more, getting into things he/she shouldn’t, chewing up you bedspread, digging and being more aggressive toward others, start walking. You’ll be surprised what it does to not only burn off excess energy, but strengthen your relationship with the dog.

A walk will also focus your high-energy dog before attempting any task such as training, putting medication on, traveling in a car, etc.

I read a great tip from an article by dog trainer Kathy Diamond Davis the other day.

The question was how to bring an outdoor dog inside. The dog was an adult and had never been housebroken. Her perspective was this:

“I don’t train my dogs to ask when they need to go outside. I take them outside on a schedule. Their bodies easily adjust to wait until the next scheduled [potty break]. I get many questions from people who don’t consider their dogs housetrained until the dog will get their attention and persuade them to stop what they are doing and take the dog out every time the dog needs to go. In many cases, this is expecting too much from the dog.”

Kathy’s distinction between training a dog not to soil the house and training a dog to let you know when he/she needs to go out is important.

Without knowing it, I have trained my dogs the same way. We go outside first thing in the morning, after every meal, whenever I come home (no matter how briefly I’ve been gone) and last thing at night before bed. This way, the dogs have predictable breaks, and they “hold it” until the next break. Of course, if they’re not feeling well, have drunk too much water at the dog park or otherwise need an extra break, they get extra breaks. I also let them out if they’re hanging out at the door.

But I like Kathy’s suggestion that we take responsibility for getting our dogs outside for a potty break, rather than giving that responsibility to our dogs.

Check out Kathy’s book, Therapy Dogs: Training Your Dog to Reach Others, or read her blog at http://kathydiamonddavis.blogspot.com/

- L